lines can haunt you

2006-08-27

And the fall came. And it left him. And it was nothing.

After my last long hiatus, I didn't think there would be another, or that it would be longer, and that it would be even more out of lassitude than the last. But it did, and it was, and why I've lost my voice, I've no idea. I say 'lassitude' because it is easy (which doesn't exactly argue against my case) but in truth I feel it is something much deeper at work here, and perhaps more sinister. (Totally unrelated link, except that I was suddenly interested in the etymology of sinister: Left hander's: a sinister advantage?) It's true, there are outward explanations which might easily suffice, such as stress at home and work (have to move soon and new job around the corner), and that it's the end of summer and I'm simply lazy now, enjoying laying about in the dog days, as it were; but I tell you: it feels as though I am running out of things to say. And obviously, one cannot run out of things to say, which means instead that I am running out of the desire to say things, or to write things, and though I know not the cause, (if there even is one,) I feel I must be honest about it, and just admit that this blog is dying, drying up, as it were, from the once perpetual springs of inspiration and motivation from which I succored my strength and verbosity.

And now that I say it, I realize I don't want it to be true, but that I don't know what to do about it. Perhaps I need a change, a new blog, a new place, from which to send it down from on high.

(and now I pause, because I notice something interesting in my writing - there are many 'from which' 's in there, and many other transistional phrases - more than normal, and don't you see? I'm expressing that change, that progress, that movement from one thing to another, and it is everywhere in my life at the moment, and with that I carry a huge burden of blah, because it is stressful to have so much change in your life, even if you want it, deep down, and it is causing me to sigh all the time, even though I can see that when it's all finished I will be in a much better place than I currently stand, and behind me will be the endless transitional phrases I have uttered, and in their place will be mountains of short and muscular Hemingway type sentences like: He came. He saw the ocean. It was there.)

And now I know I need to be done with this blog, not forever, but because now is the time to change it along with so much other change in my life, to put something different in its place, because otherwise where is my evolution? It must come in all forms, and it must either carry with it the beneficial changes from one iteration to the next, or it must become extinct.


Navigation previous entry next entry latest entry archives profile notes e-mail How lines can haunt you... Recent Forays 2009-03-10: The names 2008-05-21: in medias res 2007-11-14: The things I meant to write about: 2007-07-29: More than meets the eye 2007-04-13: Where the words have gone. Links Abroad in medias res Modern Drunkard Ftrain The Onion Exploding Dog McSweeney's Internet Tendency The National Pist Higher Blogs Palinode's Palace Schmutzie Friday Films Luvabeans Sprigs Fairlywell Dirty Laundry Boombasticat f-i-n jonquill Stray Sparrow Swordfern Pablo Ashahands Erasing		2006-08-27 And the fall came. And it left him. And it was nothing. After my last long hiatus, I didn't think there would be another, or that it would be longer, and that it would be even more out of lassitude than the last. But it did, and it was, and why I've lost my voice, I've no idea. I say 'lassitude' because it is easy (which doesn't exactly argue against my case) but in truth I feel it is something much deeper at work here, and perhaps more sinister. (Totally unrelated link, except that I was suddenly interested in the etymology of sinister: Left hander's: a sinister advantage?) It's true, there are outward explanations which might easily suffice, such as stress at home and work (have to move soon and new job around the corner), and that it's the end of summer and I'm simply lazy now, enjoying laying about in the dog days, as it were; but I tell you: it feels as though I am running out of things to say. And obviously, one cannot run out of things to say, which means instead that I am running out of the desire to say things, or to write things, and though I know not the cause, (if there even is one,) I feel I must be honest about it, and just admit that this blog is dying, drying up, as it were, from the once perpetual springs of inspiration and motivation from which I succored my strength and verbosity. And now that I say it, I realize I don't want it to be true, but that I don't know what to do about it. Perhaps I need a change, a new blog, a new place, from which to send it down from on high. (and now I pause, because I notice something interesting in my writing - there are many 'from which' 's in there, and many other transistional phrases - more than normal, and don't you see? I'm expressing that change, that progress, that movement from one thing to another, and it is everywhere in my life at the moment, and with that I carry a huge burden of blah, because it is stressful to have so much change in your life, even if you want it, deep down, and it is causing me to sigh all the time, even though I can see that when it's all finished I will be in a much better place than I currently stand, and behind me will be the endless transitional phrases I have uttered, and in their place will be mountains of short and muscular Hemingway type sentences like: He came. He saw the ocean. It was there.) And now I know I need to be done with this blog, not forever, but because now is the time to change it along with so much other change in my life, to put something different in its place, because otherwise where is my evolution? It must come in all forms, and it must either carry with it the beneficial changes from one iteration to the next, or it must become extinct. Tell me when this blog is updated email: