2006-12-29

Videlicet

We live in times without precedent. That is what I want to say, but it sounds hollow, and untrue. There is nothing that comes without precedent, and these times, strange as they seem, are no different.

But they really feel that way, don't they?

I feel squeezed between historical forces that speak of the need to be on the winning side - and that feeling, I think, is something that accompanies all periods of rapid change, and is found principally in the minds of lesser characters privy to such times, viz. all times. In this case, I am refering specifically to the forces of the consumer and the capital, the individual and the agglomeration of individuality, the revolutionary and the precedent. I know, I know. I'm just throwing around terms now. Big words, sure. Let me explain.

After university, I traveled aimlessly. I wanted something more than a career, which is something you hear a lot these days (and is not without precedent), and so rather than follow an easily definable path I sought to stab out my own. It was with a feeling of rebellion that I did this, but the feeling was undefinable because it had no target. The target, eventually, was the Western way: the way of order and capital appreciation, of soaring GDP and spending deficits, of stock certificates and popsicle sticks. The world was going to hell and we were taking it there. Revolutionaries, like myself, who rejected the old system would simply be waiting for the tipping point, when stock indices crumbled like ice sheets into the sea. And what would we do with our new found world? We would make it better. How? I have no idea.

And so now, after much soul searching, I find myself firmly on the capitalist side. Why? Because, I could not find a better way to make the world better. That doesn't mean there isn't a better way; it does mean I'm selfish and I want things, and I finally see that those premises aren't incompatible with making the world a better place, despite my previous ideological leanings, nay, borderline dogmatic belief that the opposite was true.

But I must admit to a feeling of having arrived at the party quite late. Everyone's heading to the exits and I've just finished my first drink. I'm just getting started here. But then, I wonder if that's what all late-blooming capitalists think.

And then there are the other sides: the individual can make a difference, but history erases the individual; the world is getting warmer and individual action can change that, but can it really? Will your individuality push that ice sheet back in place? What if you don't use a paper cup today? Will that change the world? Will the agglomeration of all this me-ness be enough? Nothing is without precedent, not this weirder weather, not this idea, not this writing.

We live in weird times. You can really feel it, can't you? I can. This, has never happened before. Not this, either. We are on the brink of something big, and it feels like it is squeezing us closer together, it is getting harder to breathe in here, it is dark now; and with this hand I can feel the coming onslaught of the masses, I can hear their cries of 'no more', and with that hand I feel the heat, it is on the door now, pushing back the veil of precedent-setting weather.

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